The Joshua Yoder Blog

 One of my personal favorite movies to watch growing up as a kid was watching Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tin Man and The Cowardly Lion following that yellow brick road to see the Wizard Of Oz.  The film was released all the way back in 1939. 😮 My Nan and Pap were just little kids when this movie came out! In fact, by the time the movie had came out, the story was already 39 years old as it was written by L. Frank Baum back in 1900. Also, a musical was created in 1902 and another interesting fact I learned about the Wizard of Oz was that the book was a 14 book series of the Land of Oz. The story goes as a young farm girl named Dorothy who lives with her Aunt Em, Uncle Henry and her dog Toto in Kansas. That was until she and Toto were taken away by a cyclone and ended up in the Land of Oz and was not able to return home until she had rid Oz of the Wicked Witch of the West. What I love about this movie and never really get tired of hearing was the singing. I'm not into many music...

 As we all get ready for some winter sports this coming season, I quickly realized something. This coming girls basketball of 23-24 will mark 20 years since the 04 Lady Panthers made it all the way to the State Finals. Now I obviously was not in High School yet when this was happening, I was still in Strodes Mills. But what I remember about this squad was the simple that my big brother Cody was finishing up his High School career and it was he who was creating videos throughout the season for the Lady Panthers. This is important because looking back on it, it showed how much Cody loved making these cool sports videos which later became his career in life. So I thought I go back down memory lane a bit. I was in the seventh grade during this magical time and I enjoyed every single of it.  There were seven seniors on the team that season which included the likes of Andrea Kauffman, Alicia Espigh, Nikki Hartsock, Kellyn Knable, Alicia Rupert, Jessica Reed and Katy Kodish. There ar...

 Today is a sad day for me and my family because 13 years ago on Nov. 15 2010, I lost one of the most important people in my life. And that was my Nan. What made my Nan so special to me was her unconditional love and kindness. Heck! I couldn't say no to the woman lol. Every time me and my twin brother Chad would go down to her house to see her and mow her lawn, Nan would always asked us if we wanted her to make some shells and cheese and of course we both said no. But as soon as we finished up, we would just simply walk into her house and there she be making shells and cheese in the kitchen telling us that it was almost ready. I miss those times. Another reason I loved her was how I try to live my life like hers. Now I wasn't born and raised during the great depression like she and my Pap did. Through a lot of her hardships, she still choose to be loving  and I will always admire that about her. In fact, I often wonder how I would have turned out in my life if I didn't have...

 This is the time of the year where we all come together and give thanks to all of the things that we have and pray for the ones who are less fortunate than us. For this we pray to the Holy name of Jesus. I am grateful for times in my life even when I am down and I do not see, smell or sense the love. But I know that all I have to do is pray to the Holy King who sits on his throne from above. During the times of my youth, I often wondered if my parents ever cared and if it was time for me to flee. Now that I am older and grown spiritually I realized how much inside they truly love me. I am grateful to be able to have my own bed, my own room. It is a sweet reminder that it is not always so gloom and doom. I am never be able to find true love in this world, my dreams of having a wife and child have become nothing more than a fluke. But I am grateful for having a little nephew and his name is Luke. As frustrating as it may seem not knowing or understanding God's Plan. I just try to re...

 This weekend is a very special weekend because we are honoring the men and women of the United States military. And that day is called Veterans Day. Veterans Day is when we honor all of those who have served our country overseas threw many different wars throughout history. This day is special to me because one of my biggest influences on my life was my Pap who served during the Korean War. Another reason why it is so special in my humble opinion, is that it reminds us all that there are people out there who are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice just so we all can try and live a simple life. I can't even imagine what any member of the military goes through on a daily basis because they are all walking out into a scary situation that they may or may not come back from. My heart goes out to anyone who has loved ones who are currently serving as well.  However, there is something I wanted to talk about a little bit. It saddens me greatly that there are plenty of our veteran...

 After mentioning it a few times on my other posts, I guess, it is time to be more open about living with Cerebral Palsy as well as Scoliosis. When I was researching to prepare about this blog I learned a lot more about these two things and how they are connected. For starters, what is Cerebral Palsy?  Cerebral Palsy is a group of disorders that affect a person's ability to move and maintain balance and posture. Cerebral means having to do with the brain while Palsy means weakness or problems with using the muscles. Some of the symptoms of having Cerebral Palsy include, weak arms or legs, clumsy movements, random uncontrollable movements, muscle spasms and tremors or shaking hands. Scoliosis is an abnormal curve to the spine which usually in the shape of an S or a C. What I have learned during these recent searches, I discovered that these two issues go hand and hand during when the mother is pregnant or during delivery. It is also common when it happens to involve being pregn...

Here is one of these come to Jesus moments in my life. One of the things that I have been dealing with but yet to really confront is my relationship with my parents. It has been mentioned several times in my blogs that myself and my twin brother Chad were born with Cerebral Palsy and Scoliosis. Unfortunately, the issues that we face everyday has caused a lot of issues and frustrations between us and our parents. I love my parents, I really do and I know they love us. But at the same time, we are not as close as I wish we could be. For a long time, Chad and I struggled with a lot of things and we weren't exactly sure why we were and we both have been dealing with a lot of depression. By the time we are getting ready to leave high school was when we really discovered a lot of things and since then we have been trying to figure out a lot about ourselves and try to adjust to an ever changing world. To be honest, these changes have been happening really fast, maybe too fast for us. And ...

 With it being the Halloween season and everything that is happening this month is all about horror movies and stories, I thought it be cool to talk about one of my personal favorite themes in gothic storytelling is the creatures of the night, Vampires. Vampires has always been an interesting concept to me when it comes to goth literature for most of my life. There have been so many different variations as to how the term of vampires came to be. Heck! There were plenty of different stories and tales about vampires that were before what I originally thought to be honest with you guys. I thought the lore of the vampire was started back during Medieval times in Europe. But during my research, I've discovered that stories of such creatures were told in days long before that and also were considered to be used as another name for demons. For an example, Lilith has been named a demon that drinks blood and even in religions like Hinduism and Greek-Roman. In fact, there have been legends o...

 Who doesn't love a good scary movie? And what better time of the year to do so than whole month of October for the Halloween season! Now most of the people I know pretty much turn their heads and laugh or always ask me how can you watch this stuff? The answer is very simple, I love the mysticism of them, the lore, the wonder what could be out there in the night. It is a very scary thought, don't get me wrong.  Another reason is my own curiosity of the unknown, there is so much stuff out there in this world that we do not know nor understand. Let alone in the entire Universe. In my humble opinion, some of the best storytelling in any form of literature have come from the horror/gothic genre. I say this because these stories showcase what we humans are capable of doing to one another as well as to ourselves when it comes to having great power.  And I also believe in the Supernatural and that there is somethings happening all around us and we just don't see with our own eye...

 With it being the Halloween season coming ever so closer to us. We are all probably getting our pumpkins and getting ready to carve some faces on them. But has anyone ever heard of the folk tales of how the carving of the pumpkins came to be? Well there are a few different versions of the tale and it is also similar to the story of Will-o-the-wisp. One story is from Ireland back in the 18th century where Stingy Jack a lazy but shrewd blacksmith tricked the Devil into climbing an apple tree and once up there, Jack placed  or carved a cross on the trunk of the tree so the Devil could not get down. Another one was that Jack was being chased by people whom he had robbed. Jack runs into the Devil who tells him that it is time for him to die. However, Jack managed to convince the Devil to turn into a coin to be used against the Christian villagers. As the Devil went inside his wallet, there was also a cross inside of the wallet and it trapped the Devil inside. Both stories also tal...

 One of my personal favorite holidays I always enjoy throughout my life has been the spookiest time of the year, Halloween. To be honest with all of you, I can say that I enjoy the whole month of October lol. Throughout this entire month is nothing but horror movies like Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street and of course the classics like Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolfman, Hocus Pocus, Casper, etc. Another fun activity that we all get to do around this entire month is heading out and finding some costumes to wear for treat or treating whether it be for yourself or getting to take the kids out and getting candy. I know that was my favorite part growing up as kid. But the biggest reason why I love Halloween is the simple fact that it is the one time of the year where I can honestly feel like I can be myself. I never felt "normal" my whole life and never really fit in with anyone and every time October came around I kind of feel like I can be normal for once. If ...

 Well today is Friday the 13th and it means that we are all getting closer to one of my favorite holidays in Halloween. Now most people usually associate Friday the 13th with the horror franchise that has graced our theaters since 1980s as Jason Voorhees brought terror many victims who come across Camp Crystal Lake. Although a great movie series, but it is not the only thing that involves the the legend. In fact several different religions all at some point have beliefs of Friday the 13th. And they all believe that it is bad luck. Such things like Norse tells the story of of 12 gods were having a dinner party in Valhalla when the trickster god Loki appeared uninvited and had Hoor shoot an arrow that killed Balder and the world went dark. Also there have come some stuff in Christianity as well as where the story of The Last Supper and the Crucifixion as there were 13 individuals who were present in the Upper Room the night before Jesus' death. However, there are some cultures like G...

 One of the biggest challenges I have faced throughout my entire life when it comes to mental health is the constant thoughts of always upsetting people and being nothing more than a failure to them no matter how hard you try not to be. These last few days haven't been the best of times to say the least. I get so freaking frustrated when I plan on doing something for someone but stuff happens and I am not happy about because I know it bothers the other person. And yet it happens. I tell myself all the time that I shouldn't be so hard on myself when stuff like this happens. I don't purposely do stuff to upset anybody. I honestly don't want anyone to hate me but when something doesn't go according to plan and things change or doesn't happen, I just get furious with myself. Just the other week I planned on helping a friend and unfortunately I had to tell him at the last minute that I couldn't do it. I felt like crap having to tell him that and I've been kin...

 I am singing in the rain. Its very touch has made me forget of all of the pain. I am so thankful for the days where I don't go insane. God, I wish these feelings would never end. But ultimately it always ends with me alone and without a friend. Laying on the ground letting the rain wash all my worries away. It is reminder that despite the tough times, the sun will come out to reveal a brand new day. Just something about the sound of rain splashing against my windows as I sleep keeps me calm. It feels even better as I'm reading the psalms. The beauty of the rain drops kind of brings me back in time when things around me seem so simple and carefree. Because I feel at times that all of the joy has been sucked out of me. Seeing the rain fall brings me into another world that isn't so cold. I feel I can be strong, courageous and bold. As the rain continues to fall around me, I will always seek to have my happiness increase. For I pray that I will soon found that inner peace.

 As we prepare to do our daily battles with the dark and misery. We remind ourselves to stay humble and do things through love and chivalry. Through the power of prayer we wear our colors proudly for we wear black and blue. It is to remind us of the pain we face will soon past for God's love for me and you is forever true. We mix the white with the black to represents God's protection both day and night. Whether it is with rays of sunshine or by the beautiful moonlight. The colors blue and white symbolizes our search for truth and to continue to fight for what is right. To guide and protect those who seek to find God's Light. With our swords and shields we fight those who were sent to destroy us. But we still pray for their souls in the name of Jesus. For we know that we too are flawed and full of sin. But together we can all find the light from within. Because we all want peace in our lives and pray for hope. Just for us to know that God will always be there for us and giv...

 It was a very fun Friday down at the square in my hometown of Lewistown, PA as it was Goose Day. The square was surrounded by people who were out and about checking out a lot of stuff. There were a couple people out there performing music, a lot of tents set up with numerous things like arts and crafts, food trucks, people had chalk drawings all over the sidewalk which was pretty good to see. It was pretty packed throughout the night when myself along with my twin brother Chad and our friends Presto and Stephon had arrived and it was awesome to see it. We went to hangout with our friends at Moon Dragon which that place was packed like the a lot of the other places and everybody was just having a great time. I wish I wasn't so anxious around people but nonetheless, everyone was having fun. Which was one of the things I was proud of, I loved the fact that there was a ton of people and everybody was having a good time. I wish there were more days like this, but I am grateful for the ...

 Well everybody it is getting to be that time of the year where things begin to get colder along with many other changes as we had into the fall. To be honest, despite the cold weather, I really enjoy seeing the change of nature throughout the fall. The beauty of seeing the leaves change from one color to another. Seeing them fall to the ground only for them to regrow the next year. Personally I love to rake and jump into the leaves when I was little. Who knows, maybe I can do that with my little nephew Lukey. Another reason in my humble opinion to enjoy the change from summer to fall is just the change within myself spiritually. As I continue writing this blog and my writing in general, I continue to notice the more how I have changed. To be honest, I feel like I have done some growing these last few months. The cool part about all of this is that I have been noticing it for the first time and it gets me excited about what this change will bring and I thank God for that. It just f...

 There is something that I need to confess. I want to get all of my emotions off my chest for it is time to get rid of this mess. I once thought that I was in love. I really thought that this woman came to me from up above. At first things seem to be going smoothly and I felt connection. But as time went on I only realized that your love was nothing more than lies and deception. For I was not your only love and I was sick of the lying. The pain hurts so bad that it left me in the dark crying. For years I was depressed and wondered what I did wrong. All I can do is lay there and wonder while listening to a sad song. I thought we had it all, loving kisses and lots of hugs. But now you're with someone who abuses you and together you do drugs! This heartbreak left me all alone. It had given a view on life in such a dark tone. And yet, as I look back now I still wish you well. I have slowly been building up my confidence as far as I can tell. I pray for you to find your happiness and I ...

 One of the things I have been worried about recently with not only myself but with other people who struggle with mental health is the thoughts of never truly knowing if they are loved or if people actually care about them. The truth is that people do care and you are loved! Do not let those thoughts cloud your mind! I am as guilty as anyone who has moments like that where I feel like no one really cares about me and I am all alone in this world. Whether it be my family, friends, people at church, there have been plenty of times where my mind starts to wandering off into the distance and I find myself trapped in some dark clouds. But again, the truth is that people do care. It maybe difficult to spot at first because unfortunately we all got stuff to do. We can't always be there at times due to work or other commitments. We all got our own problems we have to face on a daily basis. That doesn't mean that they do not care about you. It is always easier said than done, but there...

 I just finished watching a documentary on Peacock about one of my favorite pro wrestlers of all time in Kurt Angle aka the Olympic hero. I can not recommend this documentary enough. I was always a major fan of Kurt Angle and after watching this made me have a whole new level of appreciation for him as a human being. The story starts during his time growing up in the "Steel City" of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. One of the first things you get to known about was the unfortunate passing of his father after a construction accident. Losing a love one is never easy, but seeing him play the game of his life during a high school football was truly incredible to see. Using that to help drive him to success in wrestling as well which led him to Clarion University. Another interesting moment was when Kurt talks about his time with a wrestling club named Team Foxcatcher where he trained under Dave Schultz who many claim is the greatest US wrestler of all time. I do remember watching some d...

This one is extremely important to me because as I continue this journey of self reflection, I've been noticing a lot of things about me that I didn't realize before. One of these has been a major influence in not just my writing, but in my life as well. It is the story called The Crow. The Crow was created by James O'Barr and made its first comic book debut in February of 89 and has become such a classic among many comic book readers. One of the things I love about this story was the simple fact that O'Barr used this story to help him deal with the loss of his fiancee to a drunk driver. Reading these books, I can honestly feel the pain that O'Barr was going through during that time. I even remember watching an interview with him when he talked about her and I really thought I was going to cry throughout the interview because I felt so sorry for him. I can not even imagine going through something like that. The story revolves around Eric who along with his fiancee S...

 In my continued efforts to find myself and come to Jesus with some of the things I have been going through my life. I decided, for better or worse to open up on some strange dreams or visions I have had in recent memories. You see a while back I had mentioned that I was cheated on by my ex-girlfriend nearly ten years ago and I have been recovering ever since. But around this time, I also began having these dreams or visions. To be honest, I never really notice things like this before until after we broke up. I can't quite yet figure out why these started happening but one night out of the blue, I started having dreams that involved two women. Now I know what all of you are thinking, Josh! Your a guy! It is only natural! Only problem is that, these scared the ever living crap out of me! The first one was me seeing two women tied up hanging over a cliff. It kind of made me feel like I was told to make a choice between the two.  Another one was when I saw these two women again t...

 I can tell that today to going to be a good day. When I walk out into the world and witness the beauty that is a blue jay. The beautiful sun is splashing its rays down on my face turning my skin into a golden tan. It feels like God is giving me strength to become a better man. As I a walk along the river, I feel so peaceful with the sounds of the water flowing and seeing it crash along the stones. It feels like a reminder that I am never alone. Watching a mother duck are her little chicks swim on by. I would love to pet them but I know that they would be too shy. Nature truly is such a beautiful thing on this earth and it kind of makes you want to smile out at creatures like a blue butterfly. It is something that makes you wish that this day could slowly past by. If only more people could just sit back and enjoy the view. Maybe crack open and a soda like a Pepsi or Mountain Dew. Although most of my time I fight my inner thoughts that make me either angry or sad. But just this one ...

 One of the things I have been still getting use to is the simple fact that I am now an uncle to a three year old name Luke Allen Yoder aka Lukey. February of 2020 was life changing for me in so many ways. But when we found out about Christine was having Luke was such a major moment for not just me, but for my family as well. Let's go back a bit because learning of this fact was interesting because of how casual my older brother Cody said it. Codeman came home to visit us the year before and basically came home alone. It was great to see him as always but the fun time came to an end. Cody was getting ready to head to bed before heading home and he just began to just walk off but then turned around and said to me and Chad that Christine was pregnant. Me and Chad were floored! We were going to be uncles! To be honest I was so happy for my brother and Christine. I was also extremely nervous about it.  I was nervous because here soon will be a new life entering into the world and ...

 With both High School and College Football well underway and the NFL not far away off in the distance. It is a very exciting time for Football. Football is one of my favorite sports to watch and has been for many years. Mostly because it is one of the few sports that me and my family get to sit down and watch together. Another reason is that in my humble opinion is an excellent way to blow off some steam and help take the edge off on a lot of anger and frustration. I have a done of respect for a lot of people who went out there a competed on any level of competition whether be from PeeWee, High School, College, Pro whatever. Football is a very physical and grueling sport and yet, it is so much fun! There is a ton of different football going on inside my house with my family having differences on which teams to watch. Heck! It don't matter to me, I just look at it as more chances to watch football. Whether, it be the Cowboys, Rams, Steelers, Eagles, etc. Or Penn State, Notre Dame, ...