Call me Uncle Josh

 One of the things I have been still getting use to is the simple fact that I am now an uncle to a three year old name Luke Allen Yoder aka Lukey.

February of 2020 was life changing for me in so many ways. But when we found out about Christine was having Luke was such a major moment for not just me, but for my family as well.

Let's go back a bit because learning of this fact was interesting because of how casual my older brother Cody said it. Codeman came home to visit us the year before and basically came home alone. It was great to see him as always but the fun time came to an end. Cody was getting ready to head to bed before heading home and he just began to just walk off but then turned around and said to me and Chad that Christine was pregnant.

Me and Chad were floored! We were going to be uncles! To be honest I was so happy for my brother and Christine. I was also extremely nervous about it. 

I was nervous because here soon will be a new life entering into the world and I really don't know what I could offer this child. I honestly don't think that I can be a good influence for this child soon coming into the world.

I am awkward enough as it is and I don't get to see Cody and Christine often. Even when I do talk with them I feel just out of place and now I am an uncle. What could I do to help this child in this crazy world.

Sadly, I still feel this way today. But nonetheless, the night prior to us going up to Long Island to see them, Cody sent us a message saying we got a Luke. Man did that ever light up my face.

After the very long trip to Long Island, Cody drove us to the hospital where Lukey and Christine were staying. My anxiety was getting higher and higher as we drew closer. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.

My anxiety got even worse as we entered the hospital and went up the elevator. Then finally it just went away as we entered the room and there he was. I couldn't believe it. Lukey is really here!

When they brought him home was when I got to hold him for the first time. Holy crap that was an experience I'll never forget. Just looking into his eyes, wondering what he thought of me, having him reach out to me and grabbing on my hoodie. That moment whether Lukey will ever realize it or not will always be special to me.

Now he is three years old and getting ready for preschool. It truly is amazing how time flies!

A lot of times I still wonder if I could ever be a positive influence on Lukey as he grows older. Lord knows I am not perfect, nobody is. I really don't want to see Lukey struggle and definitely do not want him to see me struggle mentally with depression and often wonder if I am good enough to help him.

I pray for Lukey to have a good life and to be loving, caring and strong. I pray for him. I also hopes that he realizes how much I love him and pray for him.

God Bless you Little Lukey! Jesus loves you as do I.

I hope and pray that I can be a good influence on you. 🙏🙏🙏

And I pray for anyone else out there who are going through similar things as well. God Bless and Be Safe!