The Joshua Yoder Blog

 It was a very fun Friday down at the square in my hometown of Lewistown, PA as it was Goose Day. The square was surrounded by people who were out and about checking out a lot of stuff. There were a couple people out there performing music, a lot of tents set up with numerous things like arts and crafts, food trucks, people had chalk drawings all over the sidewalk which was pretty good to see. It was pretty packed throughout the night when myself along with my twin brother Chad and our friends Presto and Stephon had arrived and it was awesome to see it. We went to hangout with our friends at Moon Dragon which that place was packed like the a lot of the other places and everybody was just having a great time. I wish I wasn't so anxious around people but nonetheless, everyone was having fun. Which was one of the things I was proud of, I loved the fact that there was a ton of people and everybody was having a good time. I wish there were more days like this, but I am grateful for the

 Well everybody it is getting to be that time of the year where things begin to get colder along with many other changes as we had into the fall. To be honest, despite the cold weather, I really enjoy seeing the change of nature throughout the fall. The beauty of seeing the leaves change from one color to another. Seeing them fall to the ground only for them to regrow the next year. Personally I love to rake and jump into the leaves when I was little. Who knows, maybe I can do that with my little nephew Lukey. Another reason in my humble opinion to enjoy the change from summer to fall is just the change within myself spiritually. As I continue writing this blog and my writing in general, I continue to notice the more how I have changed. To be honest, I feel like I have done some growing these last few months. The cool part about all of this is that I have been noticing it for the first time and it gets me excited about what this change will bring and I thank God for that. It just feels

 There is something that I need to confess. I want to get all of my emotions off my chest for it is time to get rid of this mess. I once thought that I was in love. I really thought that this woman came to me from up above. At first things seem to be going smoothly and I felt connection. But as time went on I only realized that your love was nothing more than lies and deception. For I was not your only love and I was sick of the lying. The pain hurts so bad that it left me in the dark crying. For years I was depressed and wondered what I did wrong. All I can do is lay there and wonder while listening to a sad song. I thought we had it all, loving kisses and lots of hugs. But now you're with someone who abuses you and together you do drugs! This heartbreak left me all alone. It had given a view on life in such a dark tone. And yet, as I look back now I still wish you well. I have slowly been building up my confidence as far as I can tell. I pray for you to find your happiness and I

 One of the things I have been worried about recently with not only myself but with other people who struggle with mental health is the thoughts of never truly knowing if they are loved or if people actually care about them. The truth is that people do care and you are loved! Do not let those thoughts cloud your mind! I am as guilty as anyone who has moments like that where I feel like no one really cares about me and I am all alone in this world. Whether it be my family, friends, people at church, there have been plenty of times where my mind starts to wandering off into the distance and I find myself trapped in some dark clouds. But again, the truth is that people do care. It maybe difficult to spot at first because unfortunately we all got stuff to do. We can't always be there at times due to work or other commitments. We all got our own problems we have to face on a daily basis. That doesn't mean that they do not care about you. It is always easier said than done, but there

 I just finished watching a documentary on Peacock about one of my favorite pro wrestlers of all time in Kurt Angle aka the Olympic hero. I can not recommend this documentary enough. I was always a major fan of Kurt Angle and after watching this made me have a whole new level of appreciation for him as a human being. The story starts during his time growing up in the "Steel City" of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. One of the first things you get to known about was the unfortunate passing of his father after a construction accident. Losing a love one is never easy, but seeing him play the game of his life during a high school football was truly incredible to see. Using that to help drive him to success in wrestling as well which led him to Clarion University. Another interesting moment was when Kurt talks about his time with a wrestling club named Team Foxcatcher where he trained under Dave Schultz who many claim is the greatest US wrestler of all time. I do remember watching some d

This one is extremely important to me because as I continue this journey of self reflection, I've been noticing a lot of things about me that I didn't realize before. One of these has been a major influence in not just my writing, but in my life as well. It is the story called The Crow. The Crow was created by James O'Barr and made its first comic book debut in February of 89 and has become such a classic among many comic book readers. One of the things I love about this story was the simple fact that O'Barr used this story to help him deal with the loss of his fiancee to a drunk driver. Reading these books, I can honestly feel the pain that O'Barr was going through during that time. I even remember watching an interview with him when he talked about her and I really thought I was going to cry throughout the interview because I felt so sorry for him. I can not even imagine going through something like that. The story revolves around Eric who along with his fiancee S

 In my continued efforts to find myself and come to Jesus with some of the things I have been going through my life. I decided, for better or worse to open up on some strange dreams or visions I have had in recent memories. You see a while back I had mentioned that I was cheated on by my ex-girlfriend nearly ten years ago and I have been recovering ever since. But around this time, I also began having these dreams or visions. To be honest, I never really notice things like this before until after we broke up. I can't quite yet figure out why these started happening but one night out of the blue, I started having dreams that involved two women. Now I know what all of you are thinking, Josh! Your a guy! It is only natural! Only problem is that, these scared the ever living crap out of me! The first one was me seeing two women tied up hanging over a cliff. It kind of made me feel like I was told to make a choice between the two.  Another one was when I saw these two women again this t

 I can tell that today to going to be a good day. When I walk out into the world and witness the beauty that is a blue jay. The beautiful sun is splashing its rays down on my face turning my skin into a golden tan. It feels like God is giving me strength to become a better man. As I a walk along the river, I feel so peaceful with the sounds of the water flowing and seeing it crash along the stones. It feels like a reminder that I am never alone. Watching a mother duck are her little chicks swim on by. I would love to pet them but I know that they would be too shy. Nature truly is such a beautiful thing on this earth and it kind of makes you want to smile out at creatures like a blue butterfly. It is something that makes you wish that this day could slowly past by. If only more people could just sit back and enjoy the view. Maybe crack open and a soda like a Pepsi or Mountain Dew. Although most of my time I fight my inner thoughts that make me either angry or sad. But just this one mome

 One of the things I have been still getting use to is the simple fact that I am now an uncle to a three year old name Luke Allen Yoder aka Lukey. February of 2020 was life changing for me in so many ways. But when we found out about Christine was having Luke was such a major moment for not just me, but for my family as well. Let's go back a bit because learning of this fact was interesting because of how casual my older brother Cody said it. Codeman came home to visit us the year before and basically came home alone. It was great to see him as always but the fun time came to an end. Cody was getting ready to head to bed before heading home and he just began to just walk off but then turned around and said to me and Chad that Christine was pregnant. Me and Chad were floored! We were going to be uncles! To be honest I was so happy for my brother and Christine. I was also extremely nervous about it.  I was nervous because here soon will be a new life entering into the world and I rea