Am I Going Through An Identity Crisis? Then Why Do I Feel So Calm and Secure?

 Recently I have been wondering who am I really in this world? Now it is no secret about my struggles mentally as well as physically, I just wish I can get my brain to just stop and relax for like a second. From the moment I wake up to finally falling asleep, my brain can't help itself and go 100 miles an hour with 100 different thoughts.

The most common thing that I been combating is trying to accept things about myself, and more importantly, am I good enough in God's eyes. It is bad enough I struggling to deal with stuff growing up feeling lost and sheltered, but now as I grow older trying to open up about things in today's world which to be perfectly frank, is extremely toxic.

I wish I could be more open about things despite my best efforts to be more open and honest about certain things about myself and things I like and write about. But fear continues to be my biggest enemy right now, but I promise I am trying to my very best to overcome this.

But with all of that being said. Why have I been of feeling so comfortable and safe despite the constant waves of thoughts and emotions running through my head? Is it God's way of saying that everything is going to be alright no matter what?

I ask this because not too long ago, I had written about seeing a cardinal which made me think of my Nan who past away almost 15 years ago. It was a sad day indeed but, I also felt some comfort from it.

Now recently I have been thinking about the color RED, so I decided to go and research things. First, I discovered that seeing a cardinal is God's message to enhance self worth. Also to remind us of the blood that was shed for our sins by Jesus.

Also seeing the color RED also means about being confident and the feeling of being safe and secured. Which is similar to when it comes to the Root Chakra where it also talks being confident with who you are, being deeply rooted and that I am grounded.

Which again is why I feel so confused, yet for some strange reason, I am not going crazy mentally and I would even go as far and say that I feel confident there is a reason for all of this.

Is this just God telling me to relax and be confident as well as being optimistic?  If so, why am I still overthinking things? Is it because I am just not use to being so confident or anything positive? 

Or maybe this is God's way of telling me that the changes are coming and I must give it time? And also is God telling me to just be myself and go with the flow? 

I wish I was smarter and understand what has been happening to me these last couple weeks. But maybe I am not suppose to know yet?

Until Next Time!

God Bless and Be Safe Everybody! 🙏🙏🙏

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