Learn, Understand, Forgive and Love!

 There has been something that I have been wanting to get off my chest for a while now, but I do admit that I am a little scared to talk about it.

I've been wanting to get back into dating for a while now, but still struggle with having the confidence to be able to approach women. To be honest, I don't know what to do.

The last time that I was even in a relationship was over ten years ago. We met through mutual friends and I felt amazing energy from her, like she just understood me and we related on everything, especially with dealing with anxiety, depression, etc.

To be honest with everyone, it was really the first time in my life that I felt so passionate and it just seem to be so natural when I was with her. It was like we didn't need to say anything to one another, we just knew what the other was feeling and it was incredible to have someone like that.

I never thought in my life that I could feel the way I did with any woman but I did with her. Sadly, I also never felt so much pain until I met her. You see as time when by things were happening that I didn't realize. It all started when she and her friends ask me to come to her birthday party and which of course I went.

However, when I got there, I sensed that something was off and unfortunately, I was right. She and one of her friends pulled me aside and sat me down next to her. Her friend then asked me how good I was at forgiving people. My heart sunk as they explained to me that the night before that she cheated on me with another one of their other friends after some drinking.

I honestly believed her when she said that she was sorry and wanted to stay together with me. And of course, I did. But to perfectly honest, I really felt we had a special connection even after we had talked and for the next few months everything seem amazing like nothing could go wrong. I guess I was being too naive. One night, she had called me after spending sometime with some friends down in Mifflintown and told me that she really needed to talk to me. She explained to me that she had met someone there and things happened, but even worse, she told me that she may have feelings for this guy and wondered if it be alright that she could date him. My heart was completely broken at this point and I basically told her that if he makes her happy than just be with him because honestly, I did not want to put up with it anymore.

It has affected me so much that to this day, I wonder if I could make any woman happy. Could I even be anything women would be interested in. Of course, it doesn't help that a lot of my female friends would always come to me expressing how much men are terrible and how they treat them so badly yet just go right back to them. Stuff like that didn't help when I was basically self abusing myself.

Looking back after all theses years I have learned a lot about myself, some of which I am still kind of wondering about and scared to talk about, but I have also grown since then and slowly be looking to get back out there socially.

However, that is not why I am writing this blog post. As time when on since I have been recovering mentally, I've noticed a lot of anger and hatred towards one another over really anything anymore. I would hear from women about how all guys are evil and from guys who say women are this and that. And my question is why? How did it get this way?

Fellows, not all women are bad and out to get us. In fact, many people that were there for me during my journey back have been female. Ladies, not every guy out there will treat you like crap. In fact, there are plenty of guys out there who have morals and a code of treating others with respect.

People don't realize the power love and forgiveness can bring into the world. Although I don't really talk with my ex-girlfriend anymore because since then she has fallen on some dark times due to some poor decisions. I always love her and forgive her because holding onto the pain will solve nothing and I hope and pray for her well-being and that she can get through her struggles in her life.

I always hear how people say what ever happen to the good guy or where are all the loyal women at? Well to be frank, the answer is very simple. There gone because people have let their past experience effect them and in turn have taking it out on people who didn't deserve it. Hence why a lot of people both men and women are having a tough time opening up their hearts to others and sharing their feelings.

Remember, there is good and bad in everything and everyone. That is what I have learn in this journey so far and I pray for all of us.

Also just love one another like God loves all of us. God Bless and Be Safe Everybody!